He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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