My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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