No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
