I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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