but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
