This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
