Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
