if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
