Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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