so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Randomize
