i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
