Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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