So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
