I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
