ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
two words: eviction party
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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