I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
