jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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