If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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