I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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