i jhust puked up my retainher.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
