I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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