porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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