spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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