you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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