Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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