I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
