My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
