yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
