My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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