just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
