I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
