Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize