I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize