We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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