Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
