is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
