im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
