Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
