guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
