are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
