I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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