a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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