Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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