So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Randomize
