Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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