I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
