I puked a lego.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
