can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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