doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
