kristin has been a bad kristin
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
