Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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