And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i've created a new STD.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
