..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
