I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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