Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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