I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
