Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
