Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
