I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
