Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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