Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
